Sunday, December 24, 2006

Hosanna Cyberline - December 22, 2006

Merry Christmas to everyone.

The January Hotline will be mailed next week. It includes information on Ask, Thank, Tell, the 2006 Stewardship campaign, Mission of the Month, the annual buffalo wings sale to benefit the CREW mission trip and the bilingual Epiphany worship service planned for January 6.

Reminder about the worship services on Christmas Eve:

9:30 AM - One morning service only... contemporary worship with Faith Journey. No Sunday School or Bible Study.

4:30 PM - Service of Holy Communion with Candlelight, with special emphasis on children.

7 PM - Festival Candlelight Service with Holy Communion

9:30 PM - Christmas Eve Contemporary worship with Holy Communion

No worship service on Christmas Day and no 10 AM Bible Study Wednesday, December 27.

Note that soon you will be able to make contributions on-line through our web site. Details will be published in upcoming Cyberlines, also the newsletters.

Another shot of Christmas humor:

Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and SantaClaus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel. Just before thedoors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the floor. Which onepicked it up?

Answer: Santa of course, because the other two don't exist!

Question: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Answer: Frostbite.

What is Santa's favorite breakfast cereal?

Answer: Frosted Flakes.

How does Santa Claus take pictures?

Answer: With a North Pole-aroid camera.

What is red and white and goes up and down and up and down?

Answer: Santa Claus stuck in an elevator.


Where do Santa's reindeer stop for coffee?

Answer: Starbucks, of course!

The most blessed and joy-filled Christmas to everyone in the Hosannafamily. I thank God for all of you. Thanks for your caring attitude, the waives in the parking lot, the hugs (always appreciated) and the smiles.

God bless until next week,
Dale Bargmann, Hosanna Parish Communications, also for my wife Georgia and step-son Garrett

Monday, December 18, 2006

Hosanna Cyberline - December 15, 2006

Good afternoon/evening:

Link to This Week at Hosanna: http://www.welcometohosanna.com/weekly_news.pdf
Link to December Hotline: http://www.welcometohosanna.com/monthly_news.pdf

Notice to Team Leaders, Please submit Year-End Annual Reports. So far I have received six and they are posted on the Hosanna website. Based on what what submitted in 2005, these have not been received as of today:

Budget Report
Care Team Annual Report
Congregational Numbers
Family Life
Financial Summary
Pastor Tart's Report
President's Report
Seniors Group Summary
Special Designated Funds
Spiritual Life/Cantor Gay

Please email completed reports to: dale@welcometohosanna.com.

Here is the service schedule for Christmas Eve:

Sunday, December 24 (Christmas Eve) 9:30 AM - Contemporary Worship with Faith Journey (ONE SERVICE ONLY; no Bible Study)

4:30 PM - Service of Holy Communion with Candlelight (includes special sermon and other things for children)

7 PM (NOT 7:30 as in past years) - Festival Service of Holy Communion with Candlelight

9:30 PM - Christmas Eve Contemporary Worship with Holy Communion

No Services Christmas Day

Wednesday, December 20, the Wednesday Morning Bible study with see the movie "The Nativity Story" at Cinemark Tinseltown in The Woodlands. Show time is 10:55 AM. Everyone is invited.

Coming Saturday, January 20 - Men of Hosanna Annual Breakfast at Luby's on FM 1960 @ 8 AM. Cost $7 in advance. Sign up in the Narthex.

Make sure you look at the back side of this week's green "Welcome" insert regarding our IHN rotation during Christmas week. The families will be staying at the nearby InTown Suites, but we still need to furnish lunch, snack and meals for two of the days. Bring items (juice, breakfast stuff, milk, lunch items) to the Hosanna kitchen and leave them in the refrigerator. That's all! No driving or moving beds.

Some interesting stats regarding the Hosanna Web Site: In January 2006 we head 400 unique visits recorded. So far in December 2006 there have been over 1400 and counting. The number of users has more than quadrupled over the last year!

A little humor:

As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?" The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my E-mail?"

Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs. "I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE... I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO... I PRAY FOR AN IPOD..." His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf." To which the little brother replied, "No, but Gramma is!"

In a small Southern town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing fireman's helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At a "Quick Stop" on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, "You northers never read the Bible!" I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible. She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in my face she said, "See, it says right here, 'The three wise man came from afar.'"

That's enough of that for one week. I'll be back next week, God bless this coming week, Dale Bargmann, Hosanna Parish Communications

Friday, December 08, 2006

Hosanna Cyberline - December 8, 2006

Link to This Week at Hosanna: http://www.welcometohosanna.com/weekly_news.pdf
Link to December Hotline: http://www.welcometohosanna.com/monthly_news.pdf

Let me begin with an apology. I didn't have time to get the Cyberline out to everyone last week. Georgia, Garrett and I needed to fly to Colorado to spend some time with Georgia's brother, Garrett, who was seriously ill. After many rounds of kidney dialysis he is improving. Some of his kidney function is returning, a miracle, since we thought we thought we would be attending a funeral in a few days when we boarded the flight to Denver. Thanks for all your prayers on his behalf.

Below, a letter to pass on to everyone from Richard Moerhing:

Dear fellow members of Hosanna,

The service and maintenance of the beautiful Rieger pipe organ at Hosanna is not covered or budgeted in any of the general fund ministries or programs. For this reason, it becomes necessary from time to time to issue an appeal to replenish this fund. It is a separate fund used expressly to keep the organ in good working shape while also providing a source of money for updates, renovations and special music that has played a major role in enhancing the worship and special service experience at Hosanna.

Please consider a gift, any gift as you are able to contribute, to help replenish the fund. You may designate your gift to the Hosanna Organ Fund.

Notice to all staff and Team Leaders, this Sunday, December 10, is the Deadline to submit Year-End Annual Reports. Please email dale@welcometohosanna.com to me for publication to our website.

Next Friday, December 15, is the Deadline for submitting January Hotline articles.

Here is the service schedule for Christmas Eve:

Sunday, December 24 (Christmas Eve)
9:30 AM - Contemporary Worship with Faith Journey (ONE SERVICE ONLY; no Bible Study)

4:30 PM - Service of Holy Communion with Candlelight (child friendly)
7 PM - Festival Service of Holy Communion with Candlelight
9:30 PM - Christmas Eve Contemporary Worship with Holy Communion
No Services Christmas Day

Invitation to Pastor and Kathryn's Christmas Open House
Pastor Tart and Kathryn invite everyone to a Christmas Open House , Sunday from 3-6 PM. Drop by for some Christmas treats and fellowship. Our address is 5603 Springton Lane, Spring (Terranova West Subdivision).
Also this Sunday is the Seniors Christmas Pot Luck @ 12 PM
Wednesday, December 20, the Wednesday Morning Bible study with see the movie "The Nativity Story." Time and place to be determined. Check this Cyberline and This Week at Hosanna.

Be sure to read This Week at Hosanna for some other important items.
Also, make sure you look at the back side of this week's green "Welcome" insert. Some things are needed for our IHN rotation during Christmas week. The families will be staying at In Town Suites, but we still need to furnish lunch, snack and meals for two of the days.

A Little Humor:
One of the saddest stories at Christmas is how Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer, wasn't allowed to join in all the reindeer games. Rudolph became a hero, but we never actually found out what sort of games are reindeer games. What kinds of games are they?"

Like the Olympics, there are a number of categories in the Reindeer Games, but here are some of the most popular:
LONG JUMP - Since our reindeer can actually fly, you can imagine the distances we get on this one.

100 COUNTRY DASH - Each year, our computers randomly generate a list of 100 countries, and the reindeer see who can get to all of them first. This year's list of countries included Micronesia, Gabon, Luxembourg and Fort McMurdo in Antarctica (not technically a country, but thrown in for the challenge). I personally like this event, because the reindeer often come back with souvineers for Santa!

SLEIGH PULLS - This one, of course, makes good sense, since that's what the reindeer are actually going to be doing, come Christmas Eve. This is a team event, with 2-deer, 4-deer, and the standard 8-deer setup.

SWIMSUIT COMPETITION - Ha! Santa's just pulling your leg with this one. However, we DO have:

TALENT SHOW - Believe me, you haven't lived until you see an all-reindeer version of "King Lear." It just chokes me up every time.

CHIMNEY SLALOM - One of the biggest problems we have on Christmas is zipping between all those brick chimneys out there. Each year, we set up a new, randomized course, and the deer flit through it. It's breathtaking. We also ruin a lot of perfectly good chimneys.

FIGURE SKATING - Reindeer. Ice Skates. You wouldn't think that it'd work. But it does!

LONG-DISTANCE PACKAGE DELIVERY - This is a mixed event, with reindeer and elves. The elf gets in a single-deer sleigh filled with toys, and the idea is to see how many toys they can hurl down a chimney from the highest possible altitude. This takes delicate coordination between the elf and the deer: the elf's got have dead-on aim, and the deer has to keep the sleigh high and steady. The highest compliment that you can get in this game is when you get a toy straight down the chimney without hitting the brick: "Nothin' But Log."

SANTA "COMPLIMENTING" - The idea here is to make fun of Santa while making it sound like you're actually complimenting him. I don't know how this one got started.

KARAOKE - The only problem here is that the only thing the reindeer want to sing is ABBA.
Bye until next week, Dale Bargmann, Hosanna Parish Communications